Between all the girls I have been obsessed with, they all are different. Stephanie was just someone for me to devote my thoughts to in order to replace Leah. Darcy was the largest, longest obsession I have ever had. I would not consider Jennifer an obsession, yet she is constantly on my mind, for one reason or another. This "obsession" with her is less controlled, not as ritualistic and routine as it was with Darcy. I don't do anything special before I go to bed or right after I get up in the morning; I just let things take their course.

The trick to dealing with thirty Montessori-aged kids is to keep your blood alcohol level above zero.

Just because someone affirms they were born a man, doesn't necessarily mean they aren't one now. It just means that at one time they were male and you have a 50/50 chance of guessing their current gender.

Denial is a wonderful method to accept the unwanted. Just keep saying the Saturn is a Ferrari, your girlfriend still comes over every night, and that you didn't delete the only copy of your important life-or-death, job-or-unemployment files; you just have them tucked away somewhere for safe keeping.

You shouldn't take life for granted; at any moment your best friend could take it away because you didn't say "God bless you" when he sneezed.

It's always fun when driving through parking lots you decide to randomly do circles. Especially when you have friends in the backseat without seatbelts and even more especially when you have people following you somewhere -- it confuses the hell out of them.

Making your poor mother walk is worth it when you can park next to what was orignally a $40,000 car that you almost bought for $5000. 

Don't you just hate it when your dyslexia shows up, you mix some words up, and in order to make a joke you purposely say them in the wrong order, just to let your dyslexia put them back in order?